10:35 a.m. - 2007-01-31
Good Morning?
Good Morning�how are you?
That�s good to hear�
How am I you say? �oh I�m good�
Thank you for asking.
What? Well since you are taking
The time to ask me how I�m really doing�
And knowing you won�t understand
One word of the truth that is about to
Flow from my lips�
I�ll warn you.
So that your spirit will not be awakened to
The reality of things that lie
Before you�
Ready to strike and kill.
Because after all�ignorance is bliss.
You stand before me�
Inquiring about how I am doing�
I bet you have no clue that at this very moment
I am at war.
I am fighting for my life.
I am up against bigger foes than
Osama ever was.
I am up against principalities and things
That you could never see or comprehend.
I�m fighting against a battalion
Of things that would rejoice at my demise.
I�m warring in another realm as you smile
And pretend to really hear what I�m screaming to you�
Silently screaming to you.
Can�t you see it in my eyes?
Can�t you hear my soul crying out?
Can�t you feel the uncertainty in my gait?
Of course you can�t.
And why should I expect you to?
You had no idea when you greeted me
That I would put all that at the back of my mind
To smile at you�
And wish you a good day
In return for the platitudes that you provide me daily.
You have no idea that the same
Powers that killed my Savior
Seek to kill me too.
You have no idea that while I nod
And smile at your qualms about where
To eat lunch today�
That I am being hunted�
My fears are being discovered
And used against me to create
A wall that I could not possibly jump�
Its like a right now Rapture�
And there is no way out.
This is my reality.
Warfare while I sleep.
While you slumber�
I am standing in the gap.
Getting attacked.
Beaten.
Mentally manipulated by things
And people
And places
And spirits of those things
That once evoked a feeling of love
And hope
And pride
And unconditional ness.
While you dream of that new car
Your getting soon�
I walk through the valleys barefoot
In broad daylight
Through the enemy�s territory�
Boldly. Unable to hide�
Taking the blows and absorbing the pain�
Tucking it away inside myself�
To protect myself from myself.
What your eyes have read
May seem to have taken years and years�
But be not deceived�
These are my realities�
Surreptitiously served to me with a scalding hot spoon
And held against my lips
Until I feel it.
Really feel it.
And then�
Another spoonful is given�
And I know its coming�
So I brace myself for the pain
That is about to ensue.
So�
How am I doing you ask?
I�m fine.
Thank you for asking.
